Saturday 21 August 2010

A few days off but oh well.

Well it has been over a year since i started writing blogs (i was hoping to write this exactly a year after my first blog but i forgot), so i thought this might be a good enough reason to write a blog as i struggle to find things to write about. I find myself in a similar state of mind to which i was many moons ago, as i am excited for the arrival of Leeds festival which is four days away from now.

So i shall use this blog to summarise my year (or what i can remember).

Once upon a time many eons ago i got bored and decided to write a blog, shortly after this i started college, after being at college for a few months i seem to recall a lot of snow and cold weather for an extended period of time, then my world was void of snow and things became slightly brighter and greener. After this happened i did some exams and then carried on with college until it ended for the year. I spent most of my summer doing nothing and getting out of bed in the afternoon. Amongst the excitment and busyness i celebrated my 17th birthday, in the weeks after this i received my leeds ticket in the post and got my AS exam results which phased me slightly but i got over it. Now i am writing this blog, and that was pretty much my year. I don't wish to bore you with further details but i shall be writing a blog soon and hopefully they will be coming more regularly than they have been this year.

Monday 9 August 2010

Time to repent there is a God, his name is George Foreman!

Last wednesday was a wonderful day for me, twas my birthday and i turned 17 years of age and i received the ultimate coming of age present. My brother presented me with a gift which caused me to see the light! A George Foreman lean mean fat reducing grilling machine was the gift of choice and what a gift it was! Pretty much all my meals have been been created with the George Foreman lean mean fat reducing grilling machine since my birthday and with every meal my faith grows stronger.

Take a bacon barm for instance, an almighty breakfast in its crudest form but through the lean mean fat reducing grilling machine what you end up with is a god fearing sandwich, with the power to satisfy your hunger and tastebuds for at least an hour. I don't know how these magical things are achieved with the use of just a grill but there must be some kind of wizardry afoot. If you have read my previous blogs i'm sure you will have picked up on the fact that i am not a religous person you could go as far as saying i hate religion and all the gods that come with it. But then i was naive as i had not learnt the teachings of George Foreman and according to the leaflet that accompanys the grill which we will call George's bible for the sake of the blog you can pretty much grill anything. If you are not curious already, it get's better! Not only does it make all food i have grilled in it taste better, but it also is more healthy for you, as the title of the magical machine suggests. It gets rid of all the fat and drains it into a little plastic dish thing which shows you how much hate there has been crammed into one sausage.
If there is a God it is certainly Mr. George Foreman for making breakfast more enjoyable than i thought possible, which if i am being honest is all i wanted from a god anyway.

Mobile phone? Mine is just a mobile calculator

A few days ago i was considering posting another blog about a random visit to Tescos on my Friday night, it would have been a general moan about how i was spending my friday night at 17 years of age in a Tesco, in the end i decided that the blog would probably be less interesting than my visit to Tescos as anticipating the arrival of terminal disease would be about as exciting as my visit to Tesco. Since Friday i have been feeling as though i should write another blog but nothing seemed to agrivate or amuse me enough to write one until i realised that my mobile phone causes me great agrivation almost everyday.

On average i will go through about 4 mobile phones per year, although it is not intentional, i'm not someone who believes they need a new one for each season or to be up to date with technology. The reason is that my phones seem to have a tendancy to die or get broken within a few months of me owning them. So the price of my mobiles have decreased steadily until now i believe i have spent the least amount of money possible without it being just a battery. Except the bastard of a phone might as well be just a battery as it can't do anything else other than emit light and even that isn't something i would count on it for. When i bought it (well my mother bought it) about three months ago i decided that i wanted to spend next to nothing for it as all i wanted it for was to ring and text. Today my phone will be lucky to do either of those things, its sole purpose is to be used as a telephone but it can't even do it, it isn't even worthy of being called a phone. Not only is it useless but i think it is conspiring against me. A few weeks ago i was walking home in the pitch black and everynow and then i would check my phone to see if someone was ringing me and for a bit of light, but every single time i pulled my phone out of my pocket, it had turned itself off. Then surprisingly it showed full battery so the only plausable explanation i could come up with was that it didn't want anyone to contact me. My suspicions have been confirmed since as it occasionally decides to turn itself off mid conversation and lets me receive other people's texts up to 2 weeks after they have sent them.

When i started this blog i decided that the only thing i could really rely on my phone for was being a calculator but now i have just discovered that it only does sums which amount to less than onemillion which means i could probably find a Korean child which is a more efficient and useful calculator.