Mentally, I am more powerful than Jesus.

Today I decided to set myself a mental challenge; to some it may seem like a mere frivolous spendage of time but to others it will be seen as a feat of mental strength. I am going to give up an addiction that has haunted my evenings for at least two years now, tis the dastardly villain, FACEBOOK!

I have spent far too many hours on it just gawping at the screen, 'liking' status' like "Omg just lost my phone" or "lol look at Gilian Mckeith pale out in the jungle". Like I give a shit! I'm a celebritwat gets me angry enough on T.V, I shouldn't be spending my time observing a running commentary on it by illiterate, brain dead people who claim to be my friends, but in reality I have never even messaged them via Facebook let alone held a conversation with them in person. So yes I decided I have had enough and I should spend my time more creatively. So I de-activated my account which was a strange experience, as soon as I clicked the deactivation button a little motif of pictures I was tagged in with friends appeared with little messages below them saying “Lewis will miss you” and “Claudia will miss you”. This poor attempt to make me reconsider deleting Facebook only made me angry so I carried on the form thing until I could say good riddance to Facebook.

The deleting of Facebook was the easy part but I’m not exaggerating when I say it ate up at least 12 hours every week, so now to find more worthwhile pursuits which will fill my time. The first thing I decided to do was spend about half an hour trying to work out a theme song from a film on the piano, which I am proud to say I achieved. The second thing I have achieved (well achieving) is writing this blog, but I think after this I will be running out of things to occupy myself with. I may attempt to do some homework, undistracted by the tyrant that is Facebook. Then I will probably play some guitar or go on the Xbox for a bit then I will be thoroughly bored.
It’s pretty sad when the most entertaining thing people my age can find to do is staring at a screen reading peoples publicised thoughts and chatting to them about bugger all. I hate talking to people through instant messaging; first of all conversations usually consist of: “hi”, “what you doing”, “same”, “bye”. Then secondly when someone doesn’t reply after about 2 minutes you start to wonder whether they have just grabbed something to eat or if they can’t be bothered speaking to you because you feel you may have been blagging them slightly, which then leads to irrational paranoia in case they don’t like you. Then finally people tend to get the wrong end of the stick when I am ‘chatting’ to them, it turns out sarcasm doesn’t work very well over the internet. Talking to people face to face or even over the phone is what should be done, especially when you are getting to know someone, I come across as a right dick when I get to know people online so I am stopping myself being wrongly perceived from now on by stopping myself from using Facebook.

Well now I am going to attempt to do something innovative somewhere else in my abode as I feel I have digressed slightly in this blog. My only problem now is that the only link to this blog for other people to read is on my Facebook page, if you have found it, well done, you are worthy of my friendship!

TV needs sorting!

Why is the television filled with complete and utter shite?, and why is the majority of the British population dribbling monotone shits?
They have to be if 'Xfactor' and 'I'm a celebritwat get me out of here' are still being aired, then the rest of the time it is either repeated relics on 'Dave' or just general mind-numbing, futile and perturbing drivel like ‘The One Show’. I don’t know whether or not I have previously ranted about the one show, but I shall continue regardless. The program is basically Blue Peter for slow adults, with presenters that have been cast for me to despise. First it was that Adrian Chiles who is far too jolly for someone who has a face like a damaged potato, but now he seems to have disappeared, hopefully forever. Then I caught an episode or two where Jason Manford was presenting it, which just saddened me. Jason Manford should have just stuck to being a comedian that’s what he’s good at. Then today It was Chris Evans the weasel bastard.
We may have almost come to the time to let me create a television program, it will involve a pit some endangered but deadly animals and a host of celebrities I deem fit to be combatants. Although we are not quite there yet, as there is current television programs we should have more of.
First of all we need more David Attenborough, for everyone who watched his life series, you will understand. For everyone who didn’t, I suggest going watching it now and for everyone who didn’t like it, go somewhere quiet and suffocate yourself using an item of your choice.
Other documentaries we need are ones like ‘The Filth and the Fury’ which is about (in the words of John Lydon) “telling the fucking truth”. A new series of Robotwars needs to be made with Craig Charles presenting. Then there are programs that just need subtle changes to make them into greats, like a ‘Crimewatch, payback’ which will basically be captured criminals featured on regular crimewatch receiving corporal punishment for the viewers entertainment.
I could go on being inspiring but I won’t.