TV needs sorting!

Why is the television filled with complete and utter shite?, and why is the majority of the British population dribbling monotone shits?
They have to be if 'Xfactor' and 'I'm a celebritwat get me out of here' are still being aired, then the rest of the time it is either repeated relics on 'Dave' or just general mind-numbing, futile and perturbing drivel like ‘The One Show’. I don’t know whether or not I have previously ranted about the one show, but I shall continue regardless. The program is basically Blue Peter for slow adults, with presenters that have been cast for me to despise. First it was that Adrian Chiles who is far too jolly for someone who has a face like a damaged potato, but now he seems to have disappeared, hopefully forever. Then I caught an episode or two where Jason Manford was presenting it, which just saddened me. Jason Manford should have just stuck to being a comedian that’s what he’s good at. Then today It was Chris Evans the weasel bastard.
We may have almost come to the time to let me create a television program, it will involve a pit some endangered but deadly animals and a host of celebrities I deem fit to be combatants. Although we are not quite there yet, as there is current television programs we should have more of.
First of all we need more David Attenborough, for everyone who watched his life series, you will understand. For everyone who didn’t, I suggest going watching it now and for everyone who didn’t like it, go somewhere quiet and suffocate yourself using an item of your choice.
Other documentaries we need are ones like ‘The Filth and the Fury’ which is about (in the words of John Lydon) “telling the fucking truth”. A new series of Robotwars needs to be made with Craig Charles presenting. Then there are programs that just need subtle changes to make them into greats, like a ‘Crimewatch, payback’ which will basically be captured criminals featured on regular crimewatch receiving corporal punishment for the viewers entertainment.
I could go on being inspiring but I won’t.