Ironicly bored

I was bored of college after my AS exams, i eagerly anticipated the arrival of the summer holidays. Now it has i am even more bored despite having all the time to do more or less whatever i want, yet i can't and am fed up. The state of my dissatisfaction with having nothing to do has got to a point where i can't be bothered to write in continuous prose. So i shall try to compose a short poem.....

Today is cancelled due to insuffiicient funds,
the day is over before it has even begun.
There is time to kill but no weapon to use
though time is getting shorter like a burning fuse.

Today is a day without an inbeetween.
from morning to night there has been nothing seen,
no significant events that will stick within my mind
no new people or places i am waiting to find.

Today may be wasted but a day non the less.
But that is my view and cannot speak for the rest,
others may have achieved something great
but i have not yet, so i will sit here and wait.

Exams

Despite being half-way through my AS Exams the foreboding doom due to lack of adequate revision is yet to set in. The problem lies within the fact that my mind struggles to realise the importance of getting good marks in my exams. I have been revising for my two remaining exams during this half term but i am aware that i have not done enough, I know that i have sufficient knowledge on my two remaining subjects to pass the exams but not enough to get the A's i want and need to get into a decent university.
Perhaps it isn't me as an individual, perhaps it is the fact the human race hasn't evolved to fear failure in an exam. People develop fears of real and immediate threats which could put an end to there life, spiders for example the tiny creatures that kill the flys in your house which you would have to be an idiot not to regard as a threat, if you got into a struggle with one of those monsters you would be F*$%ED! Well maybe spiders aren't the best example but most phobias are linked to a direct threat whereas doing well in exams is something we have to adapt to worry about as it is only within the last 100 years or so when this has become an important factor to a decent life.
Having said that i know some people who do worry about exams but it doesn't seem to affect me at all. I'm not even one of those people who only worries just before i go into the exam or whilst i am struggling to work out 50% of 100 or some other simple maths in a monotonous maths GCSE.
Amongst other things exams are one of the things people should spend a lot of time preparing for and worrying about in life, but due some mental defect i fail to recognise the importance. It is times like this when i wonder about my adult life and how wrong it will probably end up. I see myself spending more time worrying over the two remaining batteries in my home and whether the remote for my T.V or the controller for my xbox is most important instead of worrying about the rent for my accommodation. Although i am aware of my lack of concern for revising is potentially a very bad thing i still don't feel the need to do anything about it. Maybe one day i will. But more than likely i won't.

The Times They Are A Changin'

I would describe myself as a fairly mellow character and i hold passion to few things in life these days. Most days of my life are fairly similar and its not often where something obstructs me from my usual relaxed regime.
I do not fear change, in fact i have been known to encourage it as long as it doesn't interfere with my comfort and happiness. The things i am passionate and arise increased interest to me are usually in the forms of music, films, some T.V. programs, books and occasionally the odd person.
But recently it is becoming more and more difficult to maintain the balance between these things and sleep with little else in between. As college work increases and the expectations of me doing this work increases i can no longer ignore the occasional piece of homework like i did in high school. On top of that apparently you need more than just good college grades to get into a university these days. I was under the illusion they let any old person in who is willing to pay a extensive some of money.
Therefore i now need to occupy myself with something else which can be seen as an advantage to a University, unfortunately the majority of these 'extra activities' cannot be entertained in the comfort of my own home.
So now change is inevitable and people of 'influence' have pretty much forced me towards the path of voluntary work, I'm fairly ambiguous of what it is i can give to society. In most scenarios i see myself offending someone.
I don't really see myself volunteering in an old peoples home because generally the elderly scare the shit out of me. I can deal with old people within my family after years of being around them you grow to understand their ways of life. But other peoples old people confuse and bewilder me. Almost all possess a racist and sexist demeanour which unintentionally socially barricades them from almost everyone.
To be honest almost all voluntary work sounds terrifying other than volunteering to help at a music festival which i am interested in as it can gain you free access, whats not to like?
On top of changing my lifestyle slightly the world is messing with the things i hold dear to me such as films and music. Tarentino films aren't the masterpieces they once were, oasis have split up and somehow they have managed to ruin the only good T.V drama i have come across, Shameless.
Things are moving too fast for my liking. This college year is half over and it seems to me like i have barely been there. Getting a job and money has suddenly become a necessity (neither of which i obtain). Everyone i know is becoming old! Before i know it I'll be in my mid forties trying to cope with a gambling addiction and an unruly vandalizing child whilst sitting on a couch surrounded by litter and food trying to eat cereal out of the cracks between the cushions wondering were all the time went.

I died a little inside today!

Today i discovered the tragic and hideous new's that we are losing another British company due to an American take over. Now each time i find out another company is being lost i feel disheartened but today when i found out that American confectionery company Kraft may be taking over our nations beloved Cadbury i wanted to cry.

This is like some cruel sadistic joke. It's about as shocking and disgusting as someone relieving their bowels on Winston Churchill's grave. I believe it is a personal insult to our once great nation. You couldn't get more British than sitting on the bonnet of a Jaguar, drinking a cup of tea, eating a Cadbury's chocolate bar whilst publicizing your hatred for people who dwell in all other country's except England. But now what do we have to show, Jaguar has been sold off to Ford who has probably sold it off to some other company, its like some family heirloom that has been handed down to a grandchild who has mistreated it and swapped it with his next door neighbor for a mars bar and a F*&%ing yo-yo. Cadbury's about to be flogged off to the highest bidder and political correctness has come down on us like a ton of bricks so we will probably get penalized in some way for telling everyone the French are cowardly cheese and frog eating freaks (despite the obvious truth in this statement).

It seems England has fallen into a state of ruin were it seems we only have cups of tea to remind us of what it is too be British. Although I'm holding onto this I'm sure that will be considered abnormal or inappropriate as America increases its influence on us.

It seems we may no longer enjoy the taste of a Dairy milk ever again, as I'm sure Kraft will mutate the delicious taste of Cadbury's into some bland tasteless dust like Hershey's. So next time you go into your local off-license or supermarket pick up a Cadbury product and savour and enjoy it, for it may be your last.

Religous Uprising

I believe there is a conspiracy rising, a religious conspiracy (the worst type). Now I'm not saying that i hate religion....... Oh wait sorry, that's exactly what I'm saying. But i could tolerate it to an extent but recently it seems to be interfering with my comfortably atheist life. This weekend seems to have been high in religious content the first encounter of the religious kind was when i went to the cinemas watching "The Book Of Eli" which is a pretty good film in itself, Denzel Washington is a machete wielding, bible fueled prophet or some shit.

I had a hunch the "Book" in "The Book Of Eli" was going to be the bible before watching it but i didn't let it put me off. The message the film was sending out to the audience was that in the post-apocalypse world everyone will be murdering each other unmercifully to get the bible which will allegedly make the new war torn, post apocalyptic desert a nice place to live again. The film isn't really specific on the "why's" or "hows" the bible will achieve this but it sure will.

Also there was a few trailers for films in 2010 that are religiously motivated. There is a film coming out called "Legion" where apparently God is angry (surprise, surprise), but this time hes finally got the bollocks to do something about it (maybe he was tired of people underestimating him). Well his act of anger is sending down hundreds of angels to kill everyone on earth. Inevitably one angel disagrees and helps a small amount of mortals and i assume, being the typical American film, that the mortals will somehow win and God will give up and go get high or whatever hes been doing for the last 2000 years since he last sent us a "message". Then another film coming out called "The Road" seems to be pretty much the same story as "The Book Of Eli" but instead of a book the main characters child is the savior somehow, I'm not sure if it is a religious film but the trailer suggested that it was.

The next day on a journey into the vibrant, dynamic and diverse world that is Manchester i was heckled by a man on a pedestal who's way of grabbing peoples attention was pointing directly at them and informing them that they are going to hell. Although no one seemed to care as i didn't see anyone screaming, rioting and breaking down. He told us that if we didn't repent then we are all going to hell, he then continued to say although he repents he too is going to hell. Which makes me think two things, that the whole repenting thing is a bit pointless and secondly that his persuasive techniques were the worst I've ever witnessed. But although pathetic as he was he is one of the things that really wound me up. I don't mind people who are religious, i think there naive, but i can tolerate them its like if you have a young child in the family who has an imaginary friend. You just ignore it and let him do his own thing. But the man on the pedestal was like the little child with his imaginary friend going "Look this is billy, you can't see him but hes there and I want you to life under the cruel dictatorship of Billy". If you want to spend your life fearing a God that doesn't exist you are more that welcome to but please don't try dragging me into your own little fictional world.

But i think perhaps the most annoying thing is a program i watched on the internet where the worst type of religious people were having there say, the worst type being the "Creationist" religious people, who believe the earth is 12000 years old and that Adam and Eve were the first people and we are all direct descendants of them. They claim that dinosaur bones and all the rest of the factual evidence around the earth proving it is older than 12000 years has been placed there by God to test us. If your living your life by that hypothesis then you can pretty much do whatever you want and not feel guilty about it. I could murder someone and claim he was a monster placed by God to test me...... so yeah i killed it. Religion seems to be a primitive thing to me as well. It provided a reasonable explanation to people who lived hundreds of years ago who had no other way of explaining something such as how we got here. But today we have discovered the real explanation to that so now we can forget the old way and move on.

People who live by the "Creationist" theory clearly proves how gullible people really are which i suppose is a strength for a person who wants to create a cult. L. Ron Hubbard had the right idea, i think i might have to give it a go at some point.

Better use of time?

I am being constantly badgered about not being creative enough and it occurred to me earlier on today whilst committing homicide on "Grand Theft Auto 4", that i could be doing something "creative" right now. But then i got thinking what may be seen creative to me may not be creative to other people for instance i believe that nibbling pieces of Jaffa cake off until it resembles a face or the moon is creative, but i doubt many people would consider this as creative. Perhaps somewhere in the world there is some organisation that encourages the shaping of small cakes and biscuits into poor representations of the moon but until then it seems that i will have to spend these moments in solitude.

After consuming a generous amount of Jaffa Cakes i decided to look about my room for something which may be considered as creative, i picked up my guitar and considered composing a song i got as far as composing a pattern of simple chords and a verse of a song involving nothing more than the primal instincts which i was feeling at the time which was hunger and boredom. I think the word song is a bit of an exaggeration because it was just the words "Food" and "bored" whilst monotonously strumming simple chords. After feeling that i wasn't really advancing or reaching a level of creative omnipotence i decided to venture downstairs hoping for some kind of creative epiphany where it would all become clear. I'd hoped as i poured a glass of orange juice that some act of nature would enthrall me and cause me to feel creative and give me a topic to write a song on or paint a picture of. Unfortunately that is about as likely as a renown religious icon to previously have belonged to some kind of extreme political party that committed genocide (oh wait!). I start to feel like I'm digressing from my original topic so I'll attempt to get back on track.

After weighing up all my options i came to the decision that there was absolutely nothing to do within the confines of my dwelling. Driven by this i decided that the creativity that could be achieved outside was limitless. Then i remembered that outside was the kind of the conditions Earnest Shackleton had to endure, and we all remember what happened to him, he had a heart attack on a boat and died. Weighing up the risks of cardiac arrest i decided that i wasn't so determined to find creativity i would risk my life to find it so i retreated back to my room.

Feeling defeated and shameful i considered taking out my self pity on innocent bystanders within the gaming world. Then i finally had an epiphany of sorts and decided that if writing isn't considered as creative then there's bugger all that is. So i decided to update my blog and not only do i now feel creative i feel a sense of pride knowing that I've written another entry into my blog which is a good start to my re-appearance in the blog world.

Revisiting the world of Blogging

Admittedly i entered the world of blogging in a rather shameful way, as i think i previously informed anyone who has bothered to read these entries i am a person who acts on whim , if something appeals to me i usually obsess about it for a small period of time then either forget about it or lose interest in it after following it up.

Well at precisely 11:30 pm on a Wednesday night i was reading a blog of a friend of mine which inspired me to relight the candle of creativity which had become so dim i forgot it existed. If nothing else i would just use this blog to publicize my friends blog, it is easy to tell that his literary skills and humorous cynicism makes whatever he has written about something to entertain you for a while. So i can't help but feel compelled to have a link to his page somewhere within this blog as he inspired me to give it another go. For someone who aspires to be a journalist, needing to be reminded to write is probably not the best of attributes and to be honest i'm not even sure if attribute is the most suitable word for that particular feature of my personality.

The other thing i think put me off blogging is that i thought i had nothing to write about, my original intentions were to blog every week but sadly i fell short of the mark in failing to blog at least once a month. But i feel i deserve a fresh start and i will attempt to conjure up the enthusiasm and will power to find something to write about each month (see a more realistic target). Well readers, if there is any there (at this moment i imagine tumbleweed rolling gracefully yet fearfully away from me), you will hear from me again......... Probably.

oh and as promised a link to a page i guarantee you will enjoy (unless you are one of those moaning complaining types of people who wallow in there own misery and claim to be offended by the most minute reference to anything, but then again if your that person your probably emailing the BBC again because Jeremy Clarkson has mentioned prostitutes or orphans again)

http://lordofthemanorroad.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2009-01-01T00%3A00%3A00Z&updated-max=2010-01-01T00%3A00%3A00Z&max-results=26