Mentally, I am more powerful than Jesus.

Today I decided to set myself a mental challenge; to some it may seem like a mere frivolous spendage of time but to others it will be seen as a feat of mental strength. I am going to give up an addiction that has haunted my evenings for at least two years now, tis the dastardly villain, FACEBOOK!

I have spent far too many hours on it just gawping at the screen, 'liking' status' like "Omg just lost my phone" or "lol look at Gilian Mckeith pale out in the jungle". Like I give a shit! I'm a celebritwat gets me angry enough on T.V, I shouldn't be spending my time observing a running commentary on it by illiterate, brain dead people who claim to be my friends, but in reality I have never even messaged them via Facebook let alone held a conversation with them in person. So yes I decided I have had enough and I should spend my time more creatively. So I de-activated my account which was a strange experience, as soon as I clicked the deactivation button a little motif of pictures I was tagged in with friends appeared with little messages below them saying “Lewis will miss you” and “Claudia will miss you”. This poor attempt to make me reconsider deleting Facebook only made me angry so I carried on the form thing until I could say good riddance to Facebook.

The deleting of Facebook was the easy part but I’m not exaggerating when I say it ate up at least 12 hours every week, so now to find more worthwhile pursuits which will fill my time. The first thing I decided to do was spend about half an hour trying to work out a theme song from a film on the piano, which I am proud to say I achieved. The second thing I have achieved (well achieving) is writing this blog, but I think after this I will be running out of things to occupy myself with. I may attempt to do some homework, undistracted by the tyrant that is Facebook. Then I will probably play some guitar or go on the Xbox for a bit then I will be thoroughly bored.
It’s pretty sad when the most entertaining thing people my age can find to do is staring at a screen reading peoples publicised thoughts and chatting to them about bugger all. I hate talking to people through instant messaging; first of all conversations usually consist of: “hi”, “what you doing”, “same”, “bye”. Then secondly when someone doesn’t reply after about 2 minutes you start to wonder whether they have just grabbed something to eat or if they can’t be bothered speaking to you because you feel you may have been blagging them slightly, which then leads to irrational paranoia in case they don’t like you. Then finally people tend to get the wrong end of the stick when I am ‘chatting’ to them, it turns out sarcasm doesn’t work very well over the internet. Talking to people face to face or even over the phone is what should be done, especially when you are getting to know someone, I come across as a right dick when I get to know people online so I am stopping myself being wrongly perceived from now on by stopping myself from using Facebook.

Well now I am going to attempt to do something innovative somewhere else in my abode as I feel I have digressed slightly in this blog. My only problem now is that the only link to this blog for other people to read is on my Facebook page, if you have found it, well done, you are worthy of my friendship!

TV needs sorting!

Why is the television filled with complete and utter shite?, and why is the majority of the British population dribbling monotone shits?
They have to be if 'Xfactor' and 'I'm a celebritwat get me out of here' are still being aired, then the rest of the time it is either repeated relics on 'Dave' or just general mind-numbing, futile and perturbing drivel like ‘The One Show’. I don’t know whether or not I have previously ranted about the one show, but I shall continue regardless. The program is basically Blue Peter for slow adults, with presenters that have been cast for me to despise. First it was that Adrian Chiles who is far too jolly for someone who has a face like a damaged potato, but now he seems to have disappeared, hopefully forever. Then I caught an episode or two where Jason Manford was presenting it, which just saddened me. Jason Manford should have just stuck to being a comedian that’s what he’s good at. Then today It was Chris Evans the weasel bastard.
We may have almost come to the time to let me create a television program, it will involve a pit some endangered but deadly animals and a host of celebrities I deem fit to be combatants. Although we are not quite there yet, as there is current television programs we should have more of.
First of all we need more David Attenborough, for everyone who watched his life series, you will understand. For everyone who didn’t, I suggest going watching it now and for everyone who didn’t like it, go somewhere quiet and suffocate yourself using an item of your choice.
Other documentaries we need are ones like ‘The Filth and the Fury’ which is about (in the words of John Lydon) “telling the fucking truth”. A new series of Robotwars needs to be made with Craig Charles presenting. Then there are programs that just need subtle changes to make them into greats, like a ‘Crimewatch, payback’ which will basically be captured criminals featured on regular crimewatch receiving corporal punishment for the viewers entertainment.
I could go on being inspiring but I won’t.

Zombies, are they all that bad?

The world is full of people, some say too many. I am one of these people who believe there are too many. I think it is time to see if people are worth their salt. Now with population at its all time highest and still rising and with there being too many people burning valuable fossil fuels, eating all the creatures and destroying their little creature homes i think it is time to take drastic action.
The Government should release their zombification virus's (we all know they have them). Ok at first the world might be a bit of a shit place to live when there's a risk of being eaten when you go down to the shops for a packet of wine gums, but after enough people have perished the army can step in and save civilisation then we can pretend none of it ever happened.
The people who survive the zombie invasion will have definitely earned their survival. They will be safe in the knowledge that they were the fittest in a literal survival of the fittest scenario. If that isn't enough I'm sure I'm not the only one that thinks it would be a laugh, that is as long as the zombies had the speed and strength of the zombies in 'Shaun of the dead' or 'Dawn of the dead', not really fast enough to chase you if you are capable of running, but dangerous enough if in close proximity and hungry.
People will be able to run around brandishing weapons of their choice and slaying zombies hither and thither whilst not feeling guilty as the zombies aren't really alive anyway.
Then if 'Shaun of the dead' is anything to go by, after the zombie pandemic has been contained we can use the remaining zombies for our entertainment on reality TV shows which I'm sure will get large audiences because the majority of people who watch reality TV are already half way there to being a zombie.

This shit just got real!

Well i am now firmly in the grasp of A2 and the increasing work load and my willingness to do it would be at a strong negative correlation on a graph. Things started out fairly relaxed for the first few hours of my second year at college then it dawned on me that when all my teachers from last year said that "it's going to be a lot of hard work at A2" they wern't just trying to scare us all.
Not only do we have work to worry about, but i am in the process of filling in my UCAS application thing online which is almost as worrying. I thought it would be simple enough but it's full of riddles and confusing questions like "buzzword" and "dual nationality". It also requires four seperate security questions if, god forbid, you forget your password. Then after you have overcome the challenge of registering and logging in to UCAS you have to fill in many more separate forms. One of which may confuse you if you are planning to apply to university through UCAS. At the end of the 'Personal Details' section you are are asked whether or not you have any disabilities or special needs and there is a box provided if you do have a disability or special needs. I tried to leave it blank and finish of the form but it kept on telling me "Please select disability or special needs." At first i thought it might be some kind of underlying synonymous message but then after a couple of fustrated minutes i clicked on the list of disabilities and you had to select 'none' to go through instead of leaving the box blank.
The next challenge is going to be writing my personal statement. My first attempt at this just turned into a spiel about the books i have read and my fondness for English. Hopefully my second attempt will suffice and at the end of all this i will get into a university.

Although no one called for it i shall give my oppinion.

Every now and then I feel an urge to articulate my oppinion on a certain matter, this is usually what results in me writing a blog although sometimes I write them because I feel like I don't write them often enough.

Something that caught my attention in the media, particularly the american media, caused me to have some strong oppinions which I have decided to express in the form of this here blog. A man who goes by the name of Terry Jones who is a reverend in the U.S of A has decided that in memory of all those who perished in the 9/11 attack he will burn a few qurans in a field, what he hopes to achieve by this ignorant, shocking and basically retarded act i am not quite sure. What I am sure of is that it will cause indignation. I don't wish to dwell on this as I say it often enough but I am not a fan of religion at the best of times but here is just another prime example of how religion is used as a weapon. The amount of times religion has been reported to cause conflict on the news vastly outweighs the amount of times religion has been used to bring peace, when I come to think of it I can't think of any example when religion has been used to bring peace.
However the christian extremist Terry Jones isn't entirley to blame for this fiasco in my oppinion. What should of happened instead of the media giving him all this coverage and air time showing how hateful he is and giving islamic extremist's another reason to want to attack the west, they should have just ignored him and not acknowledged his existance, this way no one outside of his town would have found out about it and it wouldn't have given me or anyone else a reason to despise religion or the other thing which winds me up, american people portrayed by the media, who have little or no intelligence. Although it probably isn't true but what the media has shown me is that the vast majority of american people have no common sense or empathy at all, but like I said, the media only shows us what it wants to show us.

Peace!

A few days off but oh well.

Well it has been over a year since i started writing blogs (i was hoping to write this exactly a year after my first blog but i forgot), so i thought this might be a good enough reason to write a blog as i struggle to find things to write about. I find myself in a similar state of mind to which i was many moons ago, as i am excited for the arrival of Leeds festival which is four days away from now.

So i shall use this blog to summarise my year (or what i can remember).

Once upon a time many eons ago i got bored and decided to write a blog, shortly after this i started college, after being at college for a few months i seem to recall a lot of snow and cold weather for an extended period of time, then my world was void of snow and things became slightly brighter and greener. After this happened i did some exams and then carried on with college until it ended for the year. I spent most of my summer doing nothing and getting out of bed in the afternoon. Amongst the excitment and busyness i celebrated my 17th birthday, in the weeks after this i received my leeds ticket in the post and got my AS exam results which phased me slightly but i got over it. Now i am writing this blog, and that was pretty much my year. I don't wish to bore you with further details but i shall be writing a blog soon and hopefully they will be coming more regularly than they have been this year.

Time to repent there is a God, his name is George Foreman!

Last wednesday was a wonderful day for me, twas my birthday and i turned 17 years of age and i received the ultimate coming of age present. My brother presented me with a gift which caused me to see the light! A George Foreman lean mean fat reducing grilling machine was the gift of choice and what a gift it was! Pretty much all my meals have been been created with the George Foreman lean mean fat reducing grilling machine since my birthday and with every meal my faith grows stronger.

Take a bacon barm for instance, an almighty breakfast in its crudest form but through the lean mean fat reducing grilling machine what you end up with is a god fearing sandwich, with the power to satisfy your hunger and tastebuds for at least an hour. I don't know how these magical things are achieved with the use of just a grill but there must be some kind of wizardry afoot. If you have read my previous blogs i'm sure you will have picked up on the fact that i am not a religous person you could go as far as saying i hate religion and all the gods that come with it. But then i was naive as i had not learnt the teachings of George Foreman and according to the leaflet that accompanys the grill which we will call George's bible for the sake of the blog you can pretty much grill anything. If you are not curious already, it get's better! Not only does it make all food i have grilled in it taste better, but it also is more healthy for you, as the title of the magical machine suggests. It gets rid of all the fat and drains it into a little plastic dish thing which shows you how much hate there has been crammed into one sausage.
If there is a God it is certainly Mr. George Foreman for making breakfast more enjoyable than i thought possible, which if i am being honest is all i wanted from a god anyway.